trillingen vormen in je keel
je schreeuwt niet
praat juist zacht
over wat je denkt
en wat je verwacht als de wereld fluistert tegen je

en je even niet durft te praten met gedachten
wel met mij

best vriendelijk hoe je
een voorkeur hebt voor een aantal woorden
en ze liever bewaart voor het juiste moment
omdat je ze zo goed kent dat ze op een  bepaalde  plek


ik word misselijk
van die woorden
die opspelen
als je moet
denken 's nachts
als het buiten donker is
en de ochtend slaapt

want zinnen vormen
als een Brinta pap
die niet smaakt
 niet lekker is
en niet helder wordt  in je  maag

waar was

was het ons waard
en of het waar was
waar we waren
met wat er uit je komt
had het wel
waar willen nemen
voor wat het was
wees eens eerlijk
tegen de volgende die is
met wat er nou echt was
en waar je mee moet
dat je niet met je zelf om kan


we have no rest
lest it does not soak us
our hands pressed in wood
the surface varnished our mouths
with conversations in a uniform

we were worn
I wore you so


if you’re folding shoulders
into origami
no enrichment is given

and all the vitamins
are evaporating
out of you
from the morning
or the day

must be a mistake

you are
too generous dear
for their sharp teeth

they'll go to the dentist
fill up their cavities
from giving into
                           too much candy

as they walk pridefully
with ice white smiles

and you now
have dentures

as i look
from up above
my body moves
with sets of eyes
following its shape
its current state
driving into air
elevated arms
fingers tilted to be
alive and well,
i speak much
too plenty, yes
no, not with the right tongue
or the left
the words are yours
or my mind’s own, now
full of the things
i know
i see
i bathe in it
with no verbal ways
what i cannot say

the F-train
stepping on the platform,
we got into the f-train

sitting down in a row
facing a man
laying down,
trying to get warm

the saliva dripped from his tongue,
and mouth
looking me in the eye through his lashes

staring, in a confronting way
             as if to say,
you are damned for looking down at me
you are damned for not being me

he spit,
dropped his bag,
with nothing to lose,
or have

next stop, Rockefeller Center
a typical friendship entered
as the man laid there, they sat
not giving a damn,
with big slices of pizza in hand

they sat,
ate, and walked away

not a minute later,
the man stirred,
and cursed

he damned them; in the direction they went
over and over again

dust driven
25 kilos of thoughts echo here
kept alone
our heads
you must only let it roam around a little
she said

it’s the weight of letting things settle
into the wallpaper and murals of a room
that’s when we really embed
into a home

you carried yards worth of hands
towards the dumping grounds
although you tell
that it wasn’t ever in vain
for what they carried

maybe, I’d deem it dangerous
to carry around
you might
send them on their way
direct your nose up into the air
smell the dust driven by push
and pull back when you move

this is where I’ll be
in this air, minute, smell and sound
because that’s how
you’ll get bound to a place and where the rest is carried away
make room
the next,
you say
will be put on a pedestal​​​​​​​

sample streets
she sits with her right
foot strong
and the other leaning
left foot on its side
a little lopsided, maybe
salt it, prod it
glint with the corner
not with your mouth
act as you
and close
when his do
cross your legs to be gracious
with heels stuck
to yours
and only little love still

to hand it out in samples
in little bottles that say:

try me

and then decide

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